sometimes i want to bang my head against a wall

so last nights post was great, then the crying started.

she didnt want me to lay down, she didnt want me to put her in the wrap, she didnt want me to sit still.

until 11am.

yes ladies and gentlemen, i didnt get to go to sleep until 11 this morning.

yeah.

this was by far the roughest night we have experienced and hopefully it was just from going out all day and being stressed by the holidays.

the biggest issue was how exhausted i was from running errands all day, if i had just stayed home i would have been fine to stay up all night dancing with her. but no, i had to be a stupid mommy and try to get too much done and boy did i pay for it.

after 5 hours of sleep today i feel much better and i have definitly been taking it easy because the kind of tired i felt last night is something i dont ever want to experience again. it was the kind of frustration that makes me start to understand how someone could resort to the desperate measure of letting their poor little baby cry in another room until they fell asleep.

not that i would ever be able to do that, i really couldnt, but i can see how someone could fall into that dark spiral. now i understand.

since her circadian rhythm is on the fritz, i may work on making some of the bread tonight and just go with the flow of being up all night.

hopefully she will tolerate the wrap better tonight, that is what killed me last night is having to just hold her and dance with her, she is HEAVY at 6 in the morning when you are dead tired and want to scream.

her diapers still havent shown up, they are probably not going to get her before christmas now, i was hoping to have them before having to go to my moms so she could be more comfortable. 

oh well, we'll make do.

love you lots

danielle and zoey